"People of Substance" by Nouman Ali Khan

The event 'People of Substance' , held at Marriot, Karachi on 1st April 2012, had Nouman Ali Khan speaking live from U.S. This post primarily summarizes the major pointers he talked about in this session.
The talk started with the discussion that what makes a person call someone religious and pious. Is it their Hijaab or the length of their beard or is it something else? How were the companions of the Holy Prophet (pbuh) recognized as being religious? Would a person passing by look at their beards and remark that they must be extremely religious? No, it was definitely something else . So what was it?

• Nouman Ali khan answered that a believer is recognized by his ethics, his moral values, actions, commitment to justice. The companions were the people who had the most amazing  moral values, they were just in all their dealings and honest in their talks.

• The next step is for a believer to admit to his weaknesses and problems and this does not apply on an individual level only but is applicable for the entire muslim ummah. Hazrat Adam was led  astray by Iblis and as a result Hazrat Adam disobeyed the command of Allah. But he accepted his mistake , admitted to the problem and repented. Accepting the mistake is half the solution itself.

• We should have an emotional relation with Allah. and whether we have such a relation or not we can judge that when we raise our hands to pray (Dua) after Salah. If we engage in a robotic routine of Dua after every namaz then we most definitely do not have an emotional relation with Allah SWT. we need to make sincere Dua that comes direct from the heart with the awareness that it's our Lord with whom we are in communication while making the Dua.

• After working on our relation with Allah , we need to work on our relation with our ownselves. How do we behave in our daily lives, what do we do when we are alone and no one is watching, how and where do we spend our idle time, how are we in our dealings with others, what sort of language do we use etc. All these factors need to be analyzed and our problems need to be identified.

• After this we should work on improving our relations with our close ones - spouses, parents and children. Islam does not talk about spouses OR parents, rather it talks about parents AND spouses. Care should be taken that both parties are given their due rights and no one's rights are being neglected. Be fair in dealing with both the relations and if one is caught between both , then side with the one who is ethically and morally right rather than the one you would personally favour more i.e. be just.

• Have an Islamic entrepreneurship inspiration by setting up a business environment based on Islamic values. A system free of deceit, corruption, lies and cheating where ethical and moral business values are encouraged and practiced. Fulfill promises and stick to committments. Nouman Ali Khan gave the example of a person in pakistan to whom he had given a contract for a certain project. The deadline went by and still the deliverables had not been received. On inquiry the person said that he had been caught up with things in his life, he went for umrah, then he had a baby etc. Nouman Ali Khan said that this is not the case of just one person. This is the dilemma of our muslim nation that we do not feel obliged to keep promises and fulfill our committments.

• Hopelessness is severely disliked. So dont lose hope in the situation of the country or the state of Islamic affairs in the country. The fact that it's a housefull on a sunday morning for a religious lecture is a sign that the Muslim nation is still alive:).

• We need to stop arguing over petty issues. We have much bigger problems which need the attention of the Muslim Ummah as a whole. We need to stop the endless rifts between different scholars who are engaged in activities to defame and curse the other scholars who may dare to have a different view point.

• giving speeches is no longer the solution. In every part of this country speeches are being delivered but the time when speeches could have helped has gone by. Now the situation requires actions and not speeches. 

• Nouman Ali khan gave the example of a friend  who was doing his Phd (or maybe it was masters) in physics. That person spent his entire life with books and now he has no idea how to carry out a normal conversation with people. Similar is the situation of our Ulemas. They spent all their times memorizing and learning the Quran is mosques and Madrassas and failed to implement the islamic teachings to the problems of the society today. They have no knowledge about the society and its problems, let alone any idea of how to solve them.  The purpose of Islam is not just to learn but also to implement the teachings to solve the problems of our lives as an individual and the society as a whole.

• Islam is presented as something emotional. Danish cartoons of the Holy Prophet pbuh triggered protests, anger and violence throughout the entire muslim world. This reaction of the muslims makes the non-believers feel that they have our strings in their hands and can make us dance to their tune. We need to stay calm and be sound thinkers and intellectual Muslims. We need to bring them to our religion through our actions. We need to set an example that the non believers get inspired by our faith.

• we need to become intellectual muslims and this can be achieved by taking the fundamental education of Islam seriously, acquiring education of the Quran, reading about the life of the Holy Prophet (pbuh) from multiple books, and learning the arabic language. He gave a suggestion that read one book on the seerah of the Holy Prophet (pbuh) per year. Nouman Ali khan emphasized that at least get a minor degree in sociology, psychology or political sciences . We can better understand Islam and Quran if we study humanitarian courses and combine social sciences with islam.

• when an argument arises between husband and wife then it is completely alright to have an external mediator. Nouman Ali Khan narrated an incident of the Holy Prophet pbuh when there was an argument between him and Hazrat Aisha. They decided to have a mediator decide their case. Holy Prophet pbuh suggested a person but Hazrat Aisha refused saying that he would be biased towards the Prophet in his love for him. So Hazrat Aisha suggested Hazrat Abu Bakr and hence he was called in to mediate and resolve the argument. The moral of this was that if a man like the Holy Prophet could allow for someone to speak in the matters of him and his wife then why cant the muslims of today do it too? W fail to do this and rather engage in arguments which lead to fights and may at times have unfavourable outcomes as well.

• Root cause of anger is not having patience (Sabr) and root cause of not having patience is thanklessness (Na Shukri). 

• in the Q/A session a person asked "how to prepare your first wife for the second". I personally loved the answer Nouman Ali Khan gave. He said that it's not necessary that if something is allowed in Islam then it should be done and and it definitely does not mean that doing it becomes a form of worship. Flexibility of having 4 wives is allowed in Islam but that does not mean that a man does actually keep four wives. The Prophet pbuh had multiple wives but there was a reason behind every marriage. A man should focus on keeping his first wife happy and satisfied because if he cant look after the first one, what are the chances that he will prove to be ideal for the second one.  He further elaborated by stating that if one is allergic to peanuts , he avoid peanuts even though peanuts are permissible in Islam.
• for the women Nouman Ali Khan had the suggestion that kindly stop watching dramas because they are made by a bunch of mentally disturbed people and watching such shows impact our minds as well.

P.S.   If i misunderstood any point or misquoted anywhere please feel free to correct me.

Venoms of the tongue

Tongue is one of the most deadliest organs of the entire body. Wrong usage of this organ can break relations in a matter of seconds, can hurt people deeply and can create animosities within a split second. words that leave the mouth once can never be taken back and that's why it's said " Speak only when the words leaving your mouth are better than silence."
The tongue is a blessing of Allah given to the fortunate ones so that they may say good things and spread the message of Allah.  But the greatest venom of the tongue is the use of bad language. Somehow it's considered 'cool' to use foul words in every single sentence we speak. the way we talk represents our thinking and our upbringing and a momin's talk is always sweet, soft and pleasant. How can foul language make any conversation pleasant? People find those shows funny where swearing, cursing and foul language are used to the maximal. I have yet not been able to locate the hilarious part of such shows but people find it nerve wreckingly funny to the extent of being inspired by it and adopting the same tone and style of conversation and language in their personal lives.
it doesn't really make us the bigger or the better person by being rude to someone or insulting and cursing them. But unfortunately, that's how the society today is laying the foundation of morality,manners and ethics of language.
A conversation is not complete amongst the youngsters today unless one or more foul words are used in every other sentence. A social gathering is not fully enjoyed unless we have bad mouthed and made fun of the dressing of about at least 5 of the ladies at the gathering. A college reunion is not successful until we have gossiped about nearly half of the college population of our juniors,seniors and batchmates. And the misuse of our tongue doesn't end here.
 If only we knew how harmful this tongue can prove to be for us on the Last Day, we would cut down on talking by more than 50%.
the tongue is the most harmful in situations of anger. that is when a person is tempted to utter things he doesnt even mean or has never even thought of before. But anger makes one blind to logic and reality. usually the case is that in a state of anger a man loses control over his hands and a woman loses control of her tongue. In both cases anger may cause relations to break, feelings to be hurt and may lead to eventual displeasure of Allah.
Today we mock at others and make fun of them just to sound 'cool' and be considered as 'part of the gang'. But we fail to realize that through such usage of the tongue we may become the part of the coolest group in college/university but we will definitely lose our membership of the club of Allah. The Quran says:

O ye who believe ! let not some men laugh at others; it may be that (the latter) are better than (the former). 49:11

On the day when their tongues and their hands and their feet shall bear witness against them as to what they did. 24:24

Narrated Abu Huraira:  Allah's Apostle said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good or keep quiet, and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not hurt (or insult) his neighbor..."  Sahih Bukhari: Volume 8, Book 76, Number 482. 

Allah says,
On the day when their tongues and their hands and their feet shall bear witness against them as to what they did. 24:24 

we should  ponder and wonder over basic things like the fact that we have been blessed with 2 ears but just one tongue. This signifies that the usage of the tongue should be limited and rather we should practice our listening skills rather than interrupting others to start off with our own opinions and vain talks.
the wounds caused by a weapon may heal sooner or later but the wounds caused by the harsh and inappropriate use of the tongue cause wounds that may never heal and leave a mark on the heart and soul of the recipient of those words.

If only we understand that no matter how much we pray, observe fasts, give zakat, the virtues will all be cancelled out just by the misuse of our tongue.  the misuse of the tongue is not restricted to gossips,backbiting and foul language rather it extends to lies, vain talk and slandering as well. Every single word uttered from our mouth is being recorded every single second. Not even a single word is being missed by the angels writing it down. This constant reminder should make us fearful of the day we shall face our Lord and be answerable to Him for all that we uttered. Like every other blessing this tongue is also a blessing from our Creator and He will ask us on that Day that did we fulfill the rights of this blessing? Did we use it in the best possible way? Did we use it to utter words that would please Him? Did we use it for the good and benefit of His slaves?
We need to ask ourselves that are we ready to face these questions? do we have the correct answers to these questions?
There is no re-test and there is no second attempt if we fail this exam. May Allah protect us from committing the sins of the tongue, may Allah bless us with the ability and the guidance to use this blessed gift of Allah in the best possible Allah. May we use our tongues and other organs in ways that attain His pleasure and mercy. Ameen.

DO NOTS

I recently had the opportunity to join a Islamic course and since i was pretty familiar with the place and the environment because of previous similar courses I had taken there, I felt right at home. There was no fear or hesitation that one usually experiences when joining a new place or starting a new course/class. However, I guess it's an inbuilt trait amongst the people of our society or maybe that's just how people are around the globe that in their attempt to make one feel comfortable they actually end up scaring the poor new entrant. The instructors are pretty normal and lenient but the other students take it on themselves to prove their authority and seniority. My first day in the new class and i was greeted by what NOT to do, a list of rules and strict reprimands regarding the rules and policies. The surprising thing was that they all focused on the 'NOTs" of the rules.No one bothered telling me about the relaxations, flexibilities and the alternatives, rather they acted as if none existed and only one rule applied, even when that was not the case. Since i was already aware of the rules and the relaxations as well, so their reprimands did not scare me. However, if it had been someone else in place of me who would have had the first experience with the place through that course, then that person would have surely disappeared after the very first class. And it's sad to note that the reason behind that disappearance would have been those very same students who apparently had been studying about Islam in that very course. No matter what the duration of their presence in that course, those students failed to grasp one important aspect that the way of preaching in Islam has always been slow, steady and gentle. Even in the revelation of Quran, each and every law regarding the forbidden and Haraam were sent down slowly and not at once. If Allah had directly revealed that don't you dare go near wine, then people would have labelled Islam as the religion of ' Do Nots' and actually this is what is happening today as well because of the way Islam is being portrayed and preached. We focus on preaching what's forbidden, we emphasize on what are the 'do nots' in islam and in the process we fail to mention the beautiful freedom Islam provides, the logics behind every law, the relaxations and flexibilities. So many people actually want to come to this religion but they turn away from it because people scare them off by telling them how everything they do is a sin and how they will burn in Hell for it. That is not the way of preaching taught to us is it? Arent we supposed to call people to islam by telling them how merciful Allah is and how He forgives our sins when we sincerely repent and beg for His forgiveness? Why cant we tell people the Halal way of doing things and the benefit of adopting the permissible methods rather than telling them that their current haraam practices will earn them the wrath of Allah. We need to call people to Islam gently we need to make them see the good in islam but we get so aggressive in our preaching that we end up portraying our beautiful religion as a religion of rules, reprimands and do-nots. If we read the Quran carefully then we will notice that with every do-not there is a very beautiful 'do' as well. Where we are forbidden to consume wine then we are reminded of the fact that our abstinence from it in this world will earn us the reward of delicious and permissible wines in the Jannah. Where adultery is cursed, immediately the beauty of nikah is emphasized.  Many more such examples exist in the Quran but the point to be emphasized is that new entrants to religion, mosques or islamic courses should be welcomed with positivity rather than scaring them away with do-nots on the very first day. Slow and steady is the key to preaching.
we need to learn not only the meaning of the Quran but also it's way of preaching so that we can adopt similar means of preaching in our life. May Allah give us the ability to preach His religion in the best possible way and to be amongst those who call people to Islam rather than being among those unfortunate ones who scare them away.

Surah An Nisa verse 36-42

Translation:

36. Worship Allah and join none with Him in worship, and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, Al-Masakin (the poor), the neighbour who is near of kin, the neighbour who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and those (slaves) whom your right hands possess. Verily, Allah does not like such as are proud and boastful;
37. Those who are miserly and enjoin miserliness on other men and hide what Allah has bestowed upon them of His Bounties. And We have prepared for the disbelievers a disgraceful torment.
38. And (also) those who spend of their substance to be seen of men, and believe not in Allah and the Last Day [they are the friends of Shaitan (Satan)], and whoever takes Shaitan (Satan) as an intimate; then what a dreadful intimate he has!
39. And what loss have they if they had believed in Allah and in the Last Day, and they spend out of what Allah has given them for sustenance? And Allah is Ever All-Knower of them.
40. Surely! Allah wrongs not even of the weight of an atom (or a small ant) , but if there is any good (done), He doubles it, and gives from Him a great reward.
41. How (will it be) then, when We bring from each nation a witness and We bring you (O Muhammad ) as a witness against these people?
42. On that day those who disbelieved and disobeyed the Messenger (Muhammad ) will wish that they were buried in the earth, but they will never be able to hide a single fact from Allah.

Explanation

Worship no one other than Allah and associate no other being (living or dead with Him), loving anyone more than Allah and making someone so important in your life that his/ her importance supercedes that of Allah is also a form of Shirk. The verse commands us to be kind and obedient towards your parents (also includes grandparents). The beauty of our religion is obvious from the command to be kind to orphans and look after his needs. An orphan’s father dies and the entire society is commanded by Allah to look after him, such is the beauty of Islam. Allah also tells us to be good to our neighbors whether they are our relatives or strangers, look after them and also adopt a good behavior towards colleagues, friends, acquaintances and people you interact with in day to day life. Travelers are also entitled to a respectful and kind behavior. Slaves and animals should also be dealt with kindly.

Allah does not like those people who are miserly and who encourage others to be misers as well. As a result of their miserly attitude, orphans, travelers and other needy people suffer. Allah blesses such people with numerous blessings and they either hoard it (if its wealth) or keep it hidden from people(so that the needy of the society do not ask for his help) and this trait is severely disliked by Allah. These blessings can be in any form be it wealth and money, knowledge or anything else that provides benefits to others if shared. For such ungrateful people a severe torment awaits them in the Hereafter. And then there are people who spend their money just to show off and boast to people, even when they spend in the way of Allah, their intention is to gain respect and goodwill among people and not in the eyes of Allah. So it’s all pretentiousness of being pious and kind. Such people who do not believe in Allah and the Last day, yet they spend in charity for the purpose of showing off, such people are the friends of the devil and for them a dreadful torment is inevitable. Signs that indicate that a person is friends with the devil:

•          He does not worship Allah
•          Is involved in shirk
•          Fails to adopt a amiable and kind attitude with whoever he interacts, fails to give the rights to relatives, parents, friends etc
•          He is a miser and encourages others to adopt a miserly attitude
•          Hides the blessings of Allah for fear of having to share it with others
•          Spends just to show people how pious and generous he is.

What loss would these people have had if only they had believed in Allah and the day of Judgement and had spent out of what Allah had blessed them with. And Allah is not unfair infact if someone does good then with His grace the rewards are doubled. And on the Day of Judgement each messenger will testify for/against their nation that whether they nation accepted their message or not. For the Muslim nation  Allah will appoint the Holy Prophet pbuh as a witness who will  testify whether his people accepted the message of Allah and acted on it or not. On that Day all those who disobeyed the Holy Prophet and refused to believe in Allah and the Last Day, they all will wish that somehow the ground opens up and takes them in so that they could avoid facing the Lord. But nothing can be hidden from Allah.

surah An Nisa Verse 31-35

translation:

31. If you avoid the great sins which you are forbidden to do, We shall remit from you your (small) sins, and admit you to a Noble Entrance (i.e. Paradise).
32. And wish not for the things in which Allah has made some of you to excel others. For men there is reward for what they have earned, (and likewise) for women there is reward for what they have earned, and ask Allah of His Bounty. Surely, Allah is Ever All-Knower of everything.
33. And to everyone, We have appointed heirs of that (property) left by parents and relatives. To those also with whom you have made a pledge (brotherhood), give them their due portion (by Wasiya - wills, etc.). Truly, Allah is Ever a Witness over all things.
34. Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.). As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.
35. If you fear a breach between them twain (the man and his wife), appoint (two) arbitrators, one from his family and the other from her's; if they both wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation. Indeed Allah is Ever All-Knower, Well-Acquainted with all things.

Explanation

The believers are being told to abstain from the Kabira (major) sins. According to a hadith there are 7 major sins :

• ·         Shirk – association of any being living of dead with Allah
•       Magic
•       Murder
•           Riba
•           Unjust aquistion of an orphan’s property
•           Fleeing from the battlefield
•           Accusing a pure woman of adultery (zinah).

Other hadiths declare abortion and giving false testimony to be a major sin as well.  The mercy of Allah is once again being brought to the forefront in this verse which says that if the believers abstain from the major sins than Allah will distance us from the smaller sins and bless us with Heaven in the Hereafter.

Allah forbids the believers from fretting over what others have been blessed with because it only leads to jealousy, discontentment and frustration. If someone is the recipient of the blessings of Allah then praying for similar blessings is permissible as long as the person does not wish for those blessing to be snatched from the other. Everyone will get what they have worked for and what they deserve. No one gets more or less than what they deserve. So ill wishing someone that their blessing be taken away from them is completely forbidden. However, praying to Allah to keep the other person blessed and to shower us with similar blessings if its in our favour is the right approach and one  that is liked by Allah. Verse 32 also indicates that in the hereafter what one is blessed with will not be dependent on the gender of the person rather it will be dependent on what they strived for in this world.

And whoever dies and leaves behind inheritance, Allah has defined the laws of distribution and inheritance. 2/3^rd of the the wealth and property will be distributed to the relatives as per the rules of inheritance declared by Allah and no will can be made for this 2/3^rd portion. The remaining 1/3^rd of the wealth and property can be distributed amongst non-relatives and friends as per the will written by the deceased. This will should include any promise made to friends or any other non-relatives since they do not have a share in the 2/3^rd of inheritance which is strictly reserved for blood relatives. And no one should transgress against these rules defined by Allah because whoever tries to do so should be aware that Allah knows and sees everything.

Allah had made man the provider and protector of women on this earth. Allah gave this responsibility to men because He blessed men with physical strength and emotional stability and also because men have been told to spend a part of their income on their women and hence they get the honour of being the protector of their women. Allah protected the rights of women  by making men their lawful protector through nikah. A pious woman has the following attributes:

•                   They are not arrogant rather they are submissive in nature both to Allah and their husbands
•                   They guard the secrets of their husband, his property, his reputation etc.

But women who fail to give their husbands their lawful rights then in that case the husband is told to first gently talk to her, explain to her what she is doing wrong. If this doesn’t work then he is commanded to leave her alone in bed (not have physical relations with her until she realizes her mistake ). If even this doesn’t work then he is allowed to hit her (care being taken then he can only hit her in a manner that does not severely hurt her or leave any marks of injury etc). This is actually the last straw made permissible ONLY if the wife does not realize her mistake through other attempts of the husband. (this act of hitting her is not meant to hurt her physically but rather its supposed to me more of an emotional hit where the insult of being hit will make her come to her senses.) And if then the wife realizes her mistake and gives her husband his lawful rights then men should not be unfair or unjust with them because Allah knows and sees everything. But even after the attempts of the husband, if things don’t get better between the husband and wife and there is fear of their marriage being broken, then two arbitrators may be appointed- one from the family of the husband and the other from the family of the wife. And then they will decide the case based on who is at fault. And if then the husband and wife wish to end their differences and reconcile then Allah will bless their hearts with love for one another.